Hey future wifey! (If you're reading this, divorce didn't happen – high five!)
It's 2015 and I just ate a whole box of Thin Mints while watching Kim Kardashian break the internet with her butt. Don't judge! By 2025, I bet:
You've finally done that juice cleanse (or donated the juicer to Goodwill)
Our "yoga mom" phase lasted exactly 2 weeks (like the kale chips obsession)
We own sweatpants with actual diamonds because #adulting
Remember when we swore in 2015?
"We'll run a marathon by 30!" → Joke's on us, our biggest run is to DoorDash delivery
"No phones in bed!" → Now we probably have TikTok implants in our eyelids
2025 Goals Checklist:
Did you convince Brad Pitt to co-parent our dog? (He's single in 2015 – shoot your shot!)
Did Target invent self-folding laundry? If not, keep protesting!
MOST CRITICAL: Did Dolly Parton become president? If yes, move us to Tennessee!
If our kids find this... Mommy was ALWAYS cool. Daddy wore socks with sandals.
— Your past self, still searching for the perfect avocado