Mi princesa Sofía,
Today you turned 12. While you blew out candles at Chuck E. Cheese, I hid in the kitchen when police cars passed. Mamá’s ‘game’ of hiding isn’t fun, is it? Forgive me.
When you read this at 18 (a citizen! Gracias a Dios), know this:
The shadows we lived in:
That ‘vacation’ when I vanished for 3 months? I was in Otay Mesa detention center. Ice cracked my molar during interrogation. Still can’t taste coffee right.
Why we always left Walmart through different exits? La migra once grabbed Mrs. Flores by Produce Section. You asked why she ‘disappeared like Dora’s mom’.
The light you brought:
Remember teaching me English with Frozen songs? "Let It Go" became our anthem when boss threatened deportation.
That science fair trophy you won? I sewed the sequins on your dress till 4 AM after harvesting strawberries. Every pricked finger was worth your smile.
My dying wish:
Go to Stanford. Not for me, but for every child in the fields. Your brain is our revolution.
Burn my fake Social Security card. Its number is 982-XX-XXXX. Let my ghosts rest.
Never apologize for Spanglish. Abuelita’s tamale recipe needs both languages to taste right.
Con todo mi amor,
Tu mamá que cruzo desiertos por tu futuro