Hi,Dear FutureMe,
Quick hit: It’s 2022, I’m eating cold pizza for breakfast, and Jake (roomie) just used my toothbrush. Again. Three years later, have you learned to lock the bathroom door? Or are we still playing “guess whose spit is on the handle”?
Question 1: Did TikTok finally cancel us? We posted that video of us trying to do the “About Damn Time” dance in flip-flops – you know, the one where I face-planted into a bush? It’s got 12 likes. 12. By 2025, is that viral? Or just sad?
Question 2: Do we know how to boil water yet? Last night, I tried making ramen and set off the fire alarm. The RA thinks I’m a pyromaniac. Spoiler: I’m just an idiot.
Elon Musk’s X thing – is it now a dating app? Because let’s be real, that man’s chaos could only lead to swiping for “fellow Mars enthusiasts.” If you’re dating someone from there, I’m unaliving us both.
Random: Are we still using that same backpack? The one with the Cheeto stain that won’t come out? Sarah calls it “vintage.” I call it “evidence we can’t adult.”
Signing off – pizza’s gone, Jake’s snoring, and I need to find my toothbrush. Please tell me 2025 you has their life slightly more together. Or at least a new toothbrush